Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
This spring my mother passed away. It’s a bittersweet season in my life, and I know she isn’t in pain, she isn’t burdened, her spirit is free. But, I lost the person who could critique me and love me in the same breath. I call her every morning after taking the kids to school, and she would listen to me ramble on about my morning, she cared about all my trivial frustrations. In hindsight, now that she has passed, I see now how she was hurting and never complained, never once let on that she needed my help, or that she needed a break to take care of herself. She gave all day to her family, never having to be asked. I know the way I describe mother is the way many people describe loved ones in their life. My mother represents the “Giving Tree” in my life, she gave till there was nothing left of her to give. My mother was a saint, but there are lessons in her passing. The lesson that she mattered too, her life was important, to be the giving person, she was, we needed her to be healthy and strong. Now that she is gone, I want to be just like her, and nothing like her.
With Mom gone, I now book annual check-ups for myself. I take time every morning in scripture and prayer. As often as I am able, I take walks, book regular bodywork for myself, eat food that is going to support me and not tear me down, go to church and connect with fellow believers. I want to build up and support my family, but one of the best places to start is by showing them that I matter too. Taking care of myself, nurturing my mind, spirit, and body. When I am happy, fulfilled, strong, my family knows it, they know they can depend on me.
In August I got remarried, and I went from a family of three to a family of seven. I left a stable job working for a spa, to work part-time for the Amish community in Trigg/Christian Counties, and part-time at VonThera in Paducah, Ky. My cup is running over. But when my cup is empty, I am tired. I am sensitive. I get sick. I get headaches. I feel dull. I love my zany family. I love making a house a home. I love cooking nurturing food. I love serving countless servants God has placed in my life. But to give to everyone, I must first give to myself, and this is a lesson I have been learning ever since I began this servant work.
Earlier this year, I came across a book series by Constance Stellas, “A Little Book of Self-Care for …” based on the individual astrology signs, the thing that interested me most, is that for my sign, Leo, much of it was things I was already doing, like playing music while I clean house and cook, I used to call it my cleaning party, I always felt it broke up the mundane necessary tasks. Watching a fire, fireplaces, the fire pit, bonfires, are among my favorite things. Making a list, my mind is always enterprising, making a list of ideas, helps me to hone in on what I need to give my attention too, what needs to be a priority and gives my mind a break from the constant rumination.
For each month, I am going to promote a Self-Care Massage based off the current astrology sign, to promote that we all need to focus on our self-care. Also, to emphasize we are all unique, we do not need a one size massage that fits all. Starting with Sagittarius season, a Hot Stone Massage because “the stones connect with the primal fire inside you, they also expand your blood vessels, improve circulation and flush your skin, all while relaxing sore muscles.” (Stellas, Constance) Sagittarians are always on their feet, reflexology is a terrific way to nurture the feet, as well as the whole body. Sagittarians benefit from scents that are warm, outdoorsy and promote a meditative state, scents like cedarwood, cinnamon, clove, myrrh, are good for their minds as well as their bodies.
We usually know the things that build us, and replenish us, they usually come naturally.
Usually, we know the things that are nurturing to us, that replenish us, they come to us naturally. Too often we get busy, we are balancing a lot of necessary things, but before we know it, time has passed. We usually are not aware until we hurt, we get sick, we get a diagnosis, and we wonder what happened because we think of ourselves as people who are healthy, strong, aware. This Self-Care Massage Series is an opportunity to stop and pause and fill your cup.
